My favorite part of the day
I’ve been thinking a lot about success lately.
It means something different for everyone. For me, I’m not quite sure how I would define it, but I do know I haven’t been feeling it lately.
The last race I ran was horrible, and I seem to be only getting slower (if that’s even possible, ha!). My apartment hasn’t been cleaned in weeks. Everyday when I leave work and head home, I feel unaccomplished……like if I had just focused a little more I could have done much more with my eight hours in the office. I haven’t been writing much, and I honestly have no idea what my next career move will be come December. I feel very stalled, like I’m not going anywhere.
I constantly feel stuck between two views of how to live life to the fullest:
“Life is short, so dream big, take advantage of opportunities, do what you love”…. in essence, do do do.
But in some ways, on the other hand, although not guaranteed, life can be long…so…
“Cherish what you have, for you will come to miss this.” In essence, slow down, enjoy the here and now, and don’t be in such a hurry to get to the next step.
I find value in both of these thoughts, and I try to remember them when I feel blah and anxious. However, they do conflict, don’t they? How can you always be dreaming big and doing, while also slowing down and enjoying what you have now? It’s tough to find a balance, and I guess that’s where I am —finding happiness between the reaching for more and the thankful for now.
But there is one part of my day that I neither feel anxious nor unsuccessful about…. where I feel I am enough.
Choose Love
Sometimes friends ask me for relationship advice. The truth is that I never really know what to say.
Chances are if you know me even a little bit, then you know my husband, Steven, and I have been together for almost nine years.
If you don’t know me (Wait, who am I kidding? Does anyone but my mom or mother-in-law read this blog? Haha), then here’s some background: I met Steven in high school choir when I was 14 and he was 15. We’ve been together ever since and got married last October.
So friends sometimes ask me how we have made it work for so long. Sometimes friends ask me what they should do in their love lives. Should I text him? What should I say? When should I introduce him to my family? What should I wear on our date?
I’m never sure what to say. I don’t consider myself any kind of relationship expert. In fact, you could even say that I just got lucky. That I just happened to meet “the one” at a young age. Lucky me, eh?
Maybe there is some truth to that. Maybe it was fate in action. But loving someone for nine years isn’t just a result of having met at the right time. It’s the result of hard work, commitment, and choosing love over and over again.
Wants, needs, and being content
The air conditioning in Steven’s car stopped working last week.
Perfect timing, right? It’s only 100+ degrees these days. It’s gone out before and he has been able to fix it. But this time, I think it’s just donezo.
It makes me sad for poor Stevoid. Driving around with the windows down and still sweating bullets. Luckily, his drive to work isn’t that long, and we take my car just about everywhere else.
It’s not the end of the world. There are certainly worse things. And it will be fall soon enough.
I guess the real reason the broken air conditioner bums me out is because we’ve been saving to get Steven a new vehicle for almost a year now. Not just any new vehicle, but a truck — something he’s been dreaming about since he was 15.
We’re both a leetle upset that it’s taking so long. His ’01 Chevy Cavalier (the vehicle he has had as long as I’ve known him….almost nine years) has actually held up pretty well for the most part. But over the past year it’s gone downhill fast. The broken air conditioner is just another reminder that a new vehicle is no longer just a want, but quickly becoming a need.